Some are more deserving than others

You know those really lowly genuine people how come most don't have a life they deserve? That lovely girl who everyone knows and she smiles to everyone, why does she deserve to have depression or an eating disorder? Or that boy who tutors people who need his help, why does he deserve to be bullied? They don't deserve it, many don't so what is stopping people from having it easy? There are many of people who don't struggle through stuff, why do they deserve that and not the people who need help? 

I have depression and I'm not one I sugar coat or make it sound worse than it is, some days it's good and some days it's bad. I don't know why I have it to be honest, it's just there. I've gone through some difficult things in my life and I'm only 16, but most of the stuff which lead to my depression happened as soon as I started secondary school. If I had to take a guess in why I'm like this I would say it was caused from having an eating disorder or having the one person who was always there for me die. I don't tell anyone about my problems, I don't try and create sympathy. Once I asked my two best friends for help but by the time they replied to my message the damage had been done, I couldn't expect them to be for me and I don't they have their own life but luckily I have one person to help me. 

I honestly believe that I deserve some of my problems, but that one person who's there for me doesn't. He shouldn't have to cope with my problems or shouldn't have to cope with only seeing his girlfriend once a month and have to put up with a long distance relationship.  I have to tell myself that we have all these problems because it will make us appreciate each other more but I know it isn't true because most couples who are perfect for each other don't have to put up with a long relationship and have the problems we have. I don't know why we have them but why can't we have it easy for once? 

Also why are some couples moe deserving than others, why is it so difficult for me to see my boyfriend? I understand the difficulty of living over 100 miles away from each other but why can't we have it easy for just once? As a couple why are we more undeserving as other? 

Comments

Popular Posts